The Doghouse

Hi, my name is Bobdog (yeah, I know...did you get to choose YOUR name?) and I own this place. I let Avondell sit in the corner and play on this thing when he isnt busy feeding or entertaining me. I was born roughly (no pun intended) 8 years ago, and Avondell was given to me when I was born. We live in Seattle together and we have all sorts of fun adventures. First, we are both batchelors. We get to lay around and stink and fart all we want and no one complains (well, I do occasionally...he can be really gross sometimes). We go all kinds of neat places and smell all sorts of neat smells. Sometimes I'll smell something and go dashing off after it. Avondell stands there and yells and watches me and yells some more...I just ignore him. Sometimes I dont think he has as much fun as I do. But thats okay.

You may be thinking to yourself "but yer a dog". Oh, but not any ordinary dog, I am a black and tan coonhound, and we are a very special and intelligent kind of dog. Black and tans were the first true coonhound. Now you may be thinkin "how many kinds are there?" Well lots...theres blue ticks, red ticks, red bones...but they are all inferior to us black and tans. I am a hunting hound. Some dogs prefer to wear perfume and run around in tents to be judged by how they hold their head and how quiet they can be. I prefer to snuffle around in a big pile of bear do-do and run a critter up a tree. And keep quiet? hehe...right.

But I'm not a killer. I just chase em. Really. I am the biggest, most friendliest, lovablest dog around. I wouldnt hurt a fly. Corner it? Sure. Howl my head off at it? Yup. But I dont bite. Heck I wont even bite Avondell. I have better ways to get even with him. Us black and tans are like that. Like, I can yell him up. Thats a term we dogs use when huntin a critter. Some critters'll hold their ground and play dead or try ta blend in. So we was bred with this incredible howl can shake any critter loose and set it off runnin. Includin Avondell during his afternoon nap.

But I dont just howl any ol nonsense like most unintelligent dogs. I say specific things when I talk and anyone who listens fer awhile can understand it. Fer instance, I gotta certain howl I use when I think I smell somethin and wanna go check it out. Then if I find out what it is, I gotta different howl fer different critters. Rabbits, raccoons, possums, housecats, and stuff like that dont impress me all that much. Sure, I'll chase em if I feel like it, but they really aint much good bellow and they are off in the next county. Big deer, elk, bear, and big cats really get me goin though. Boy, I'll chase through 8 layers of barbed wire to get after one of those critters! They are fun cuz I can catch em and cuz they are worth catchin! When I catch something big, or get somethin cornered, I got a howl I use then too.

::whimper:: But Avondell sez I cant go hunt them critters no more :`(

He sez the mean ol treehuggers who dont understand nature and biology but do understand how to sign their name on a piece of paper made it illegal fer me to ever go hunt them critters again. ::sigh:: Well, guess theres not much we can do now, cept join the N.R.A. and try not to let it happen in other places. We met a lot of nice people and had a lot of fun out chasin critters over the I gotta spend hunting season in a kennel or with a friend of Avondell's cuz I aint even allowed in the camp :(

I got kicked outta the kennel I was in a couple years ago, but thats another story.

I'll get Avondell to take some more pictures of me and I'll keep an eye on this website so Avondell dont mess it up.

August 1999: Avondell has a friend named Bob and Bob has a wife who has CATS. Bob's wife likes CATS but Bob doesnt so when Bob's wife isnt around, Bob lets Avondell and Me hunt them CATS. I got to chase one the other day all the way across a cow pasture. Boy it was fun! That CAT just ran and ran as fast as it could. CATS can run fast but I can run faster. Especially in a cow pasture. Lucky for that CAT, there was a tree in the middle of the cow pasture. It ran right up the tree really fast. It was a big fat lazy CAT, but even big fat lazy CATS can run up trees really fast when they have to. It ran way up to the top, and I stood down below just barking and was fun! I made friends with Bob's cows too. They like to howl too, but funny...instead of WOOOOOOOO...they go MOOOOOOOO...oh well, some dawgs cant even howl. Cows must be smarter than some dawgs. Noises is almost as important as smells and cows know that.

Avondell got me a new collar a few days ago. Its nice and shiny silver, not like the gay purple thing around my neck in the picture above. He chopped my toenails too, so now I can type again.

September 2001: Yeah yeah, so I dont update my website fast enough for you. Shaddup and look at My Pictures.

Things We Can Learn From Dogs

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they have invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp, and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you're not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
13. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
15. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
16. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
17. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
18. No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.

Sleepy Dawg!

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